Saturday, January 31, 2009
mom. i know what are expected of me.
stay at home or come home early .
study. be good. have a perfect attitude and character.
wake up early in the morning.
help out at home.
save money.
be jovial.
i understand where you're coming from.
i can do all those.
every single thing you want me to do, i can do it.
but just don't take my late nights away.
even if i were to come home at 6am , and if you want me to wake up
at 8am. i'll do it.
you don't have any trust in me.
in your eyes, im the one with the horns and sis is the one with the halo.
i don't care .
im living for myself.
you asked me to do this shit course which i hated.
but i still carry on with it.
you told me that during your time, u suffer first then enjoy.
but whenever you work study or play, you said you're enjoying.
tts becuz you're doing something you like.
the problem y i don't tell u things cuz at the end of the day,
you'll turn around and give me a big fat slap right on my face.
i've tried treating u as a friend as a mom, but your response ain't effective at all.
you're way too self centered.
i don't need to have bird's nest everyday, abalone every meal.
chanel make up, gucci perfume and stuffs like .
you don't need to provide me with all these to show that you love me.
right from the start i know you do.
all i'm asking is just to give me my late nights back.
its about time you have trusts in meif not then its best i leave. XOXO
3:03:00 PM
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
its been soo long !
didn't wanna get started with blogs all but guessed it about time.
i've made plans for myself.
planned how am i gonna live my life.
where am i gonna do that.
it definitely ain't my home.
well mother, I really must apologise to you because:
1) i don't do what u say
2) i don't trust you
3) i made you angry most of the time
4) I'm such a disgrace
5) yeah, i'm a burden too
6) i'm too much to handle.
7) you hate late nights, but i respect it a lot.
8) I'm always making you feel so heart broken
9) i'm wasting your time
10) i'm wasting your money
11) i'm wasting your effort
12) i'm wasting your life.
these are just some of the daily problems i am facing.
mom, i've made up my mind.
i love you a whole lot.
i can do anything you want.
even though i hated banking n finance, i'll still do it.
i'll do it for you. anything!
but just don't take my late nights away.
and my late can be as late as 6am or so.
you keep twisting and turning your words.
breaking your promises.
making it sounded like i was a fool to buy your words.
like i've been tricked.
i've had enough of tryna impress you.
or do shit just to gain trust from you.
these have to stop.
i wanna go out late every single night.
i wanna do that till i'm tired of it then maybe one fine day i'll stop.
i wanna relax .
if im not having fun playing outside, i can't get into the right mood to study.
i'm sorry. i'm like that.
but you've been stopping me and controlling me so tightly.
i can hardly breathe Mrs Tan!
i doubt i can ever live up to your expectations.
you told me to disown u as a mother.
i won't do it.
but if you wanna disown me after what i've done,
i won't blame you.
maybe having sis by your side only will lighten your load.
she's like your everything.
the perfect daughter any mum could ever get.
you don't need me mum.
i'm sure you'll do even better w/o me.
mum, if you ever read these, i'm sorry.
my character is like that.
i can't help it.
your methods aren't working on me.
you asked me b4 ,
what's a good mother ?
is it the one who always let you out till 5-6am everyday ?
i would agree.
cuz at least that mother understands her children.
since they like late nights, they'll have late nights.
as long as we don't get into trouble.
i'm tired mom.
i'm exhausted!
and forever, i'll love you always.
soon , this name Dawn Tan Lilin will slowly fade away from your memories.
-goodbye-
XOXO
11:59:00 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
thanks to the big moth,
i couldn't study at the dinning table,
thanks to the moth,
i had to go back to my room,
thanks to the moth,
i was in my room studying when total darkness falls
thanks to ME ,
i was awake and the only one who realised it,
thanks to ME,
i called my mum's hp using mine cuz the phones went dead.
thanks to ME,
my parents went to check it out,
thanks to THEM and ME,
my parents found out early solved the problem.
But Thanks To God,
everyone was safe and sound when the fire broke out.
(my sis was sleeping like a dead pig.)
XOXO
4:22:00 AM
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
People asking how I'm doing?
But every question still has you in
I say I'm fine
And I never think about you
But you're always on my mind.
XOXO
4:18:00 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
I don't do blood test
Cuz
i just CAN'T do it!
XOXO
1:04:00 AM
